Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down: A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse (Hardcover)

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ITEM# 12630196
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ITEM#: 12630196

Do you really need to buy this book? You gotta ask yourself one question: Are you going to be ready when the sh*t goes down? Here is a quick checklist:

1. Have you dug up your wife's rose garden and built a fallout shelter, equipped with a prison where you can lock up annoying family members?

2. Have you mapped out an escape route to your safe zone

3. Is there a vehicle of death sitting in your garage?

4. Have you filled your go bag with all the needed instruments, including waterproof matches, postapocalyptic goggles, and at least one sexual party favor

5. Have you learned how to milk various types of animals, including a giraffe

As you can see, you need this book more than you even know. Without it, you're roadkill. Lucky for you, Forrest Griffin is the perfect apocalyptic chaperon. When he was in the womb, his mother had visions that the world would soon crumble, and Forrest would be the messiah of all mankind. He learned of these "visions" at the age of ten, and although they led him to believe that his mom had just been watching Mad Max and eating bad Mexican food, nevertheless he began his postapocalyptic training?a part of which involved his becoming a proud member of the Webelos, which is just one step below Boy Scout. And you know what the Boy Scout motto is. (Well, I hope you do, because Forrest doesn't have a clue). Another part involved hoarding ketchup packets, which he sucked down in the darkness of his room while listening to Nine Inch Nails. Hey, don't judge . . . hoarders are survivors. Just look at squirrels, they have been around longer than sharks.

If you want to survive the end of the world, and then avoid ending up in a government holding pen suffering from a bunch of diseases and listening to crying babies, you've got some skills to master. But don't worry Forrest has you covered. From spotting the signs of the global downfall, to alienating your loved ones

Specs

ISBN 9780061998256
Genre HUMOR / Topic / Sports
Format Hardcover
Pages 248
Publisher Date 2010-08-03 00:00:00.0
Publisher William Morrow & Co
Copyright Year 2010
Height 9.5 in
Wdth 6.5 in
Thickness 1.0 in
Unit weight 0.95 lb
Language English
Subtitle A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse
Audience General/trade
Authors Griffin, Forrest
Country of Origin United States

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