Tips on Choosing a Bat Mitzvah or Bar Mitzvah Gift

Among the rituals of Jewish culture, the bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah are very important and well known. The bar mitzvah, or bat mitzvah for girls, usually takes place on or around boy's 13th birthday (12th birthday for girls). By reading a portion of the Torah during the Shabbat (Sabbath) service, the child shows he or she is now an adult in the eyes of the congregation. A celebration with food, dancing and bar mitzvah gifts for the birthday boy (bat mitzvah gifts for a girl) follows the service. If you've never attended a bar or bat mitzvah before, you may wonder what's appropriate to give as a present. It's easy to find the right gifts just by following a few simple rules.

Buying Bar/Bat Mitzvah Gifts:

1. Find appropriate gifts for each teen. The traditional bar mitzvah gifts and bat mitzvah gifts included pen sets and savings bonds, but now the gift list has expanded and includes anything that a young teenager might enjoy. If you're unsure of the bar/bat mitzvah child's specific tastes, gift certificates are a good choice, as are checks. If you're planning to give a check during a bar mitzvah, give an amount in a multiple of 18, such as $18 or $36. In Jewish numerology, the word "chai," or "life," equals the number 18. By giving a multiple of 18, you're not only giving a mitzvah gift, but you're also wishing the recipient a long, happy life.

2. Look for Jewish symbols. If you're uncertain about Jewish traditions, you may want to avoid the Jewish gifts used in prayer services, such as yarmulkes (skull caps) or tallit (prayer shawls). Depending on the branch of Judaism, these Jewish gifts may be appropriate only for boys or the family may want to hand down personal items as a special gift. However, certain Jewish-themed items are always appropriate for bar mitzvah presents and bat mitzvah presents, such as books about famous Jewish figures. Jewelry with Star of David pendants or other Jewish-themed charms are appropriate bat mitzvah gifts for the birthday girl.

3. Donate to a cause. Instead of giving a check, you can donate to a charity in the bar/bat mitzvah child's name. This works best if you know the child's interests, so you can make sure that he or she will appreciate the bar mitzvah present. Avoid controversial charities; stick to the mainstream for a bat mitzvah present. If you're writing a check to a charity, make the amount in multiples of 18, just as you would if you were giving the mitzvah gift directly to the teen.