Yesterday afternoon, I received an e-mail (sent to the entire office) containing the following somewhat vague mandate: "Prizes or treats will be given tomorrow, Friday August 27, to whomever wears their best stretchy outfit (interpret as you want)." Why, you ask? Partly because why not? But mostly to honor our new and improved "Stretch" website design!
I knew I had to come up with something stretchtastic. I love playing dress-up and wearing costumes. Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's way bigger than Christmas in my book.
My first step on the road to work-appropriately interpreting the muddy waters of "best stretchy outfit", without risking being fired or sent home to change, was to search for "stretch" onsite and browse the results for ideas. Here's what I found:
Hmmm . . . If the search results are an accurate reflection of the probable smattering of stretchy outfits I might see tomorrow, then the office might be a pretty amazing place to be. A stretch denim pantsuit is pretty incredible, especially with the crystals on it. Leggings are a reliable standby, and those stretchy knit boots look very comfortable. The stretchy maternity jeans are more about necessity (a necessity I don't need at this time). The stretchy tiger ring is awesome, and a clever concept for rings, which often don't fit me quite right. But none of these were quite what I had in mind.
My next strategy was to consult my nearby co-workers. For some reason, they held the unanimous opinion that I should wear my roller skates to work. They either know me very well or they were hoping to see me biff it hard. I suppose both things could be true.
The only thing I love more than Halloween costumes and dressing up is wearing my roller skates. They're my most comfortable shoes, after all. For a couple of hours I entertained the idea of tracking down a padded muscle shirt (Stretch Armstrong being the idea there). There are plenty online, but I needed one like, right now, and where does one go in this town to purchase a padded muscle shirt? It turns out the answer is nowhere fast.
To make a long story end, I wore stretchy yoga pants and roller skates to work today. Even though I wasn't able to lay hands on a muscle shirt, I did happen to notice that somebody brought in a sumo wrestler suit, and it's just sitting by her desk calling to me. I might roll over there and ask if I can wear it.
Posted by Manna Bot