BABIES. Maybe youre thinking of having one. There might even be one inside you right now, draining nutrients from your system via a tube growing from its midsection. Or maybe youve already got one around the house, somewhe......more
BABIES. Maybe youre thinking of having one. There might even be one inside you right now, draining nutrients from your system via a tube growing from its midsection. Or maybe youve already got one around the house, somewhere, and youre responsible for its continued survival. Youre saddled with a helpless being whom youve agreed to house and feed and love with all your heart for the rest of your life, more or less.
Either way, youre confused, youre frightened, and 911 wont take your calls anymore. But dont despair! Lets Panic About Babies! is here to hold your hand and answer some important, age-old baby-related questions, including:
- How can I be sure Im pregnant? (Torso swells gradually until baby falls into underpants.)
- Did I just pee myself? (Yes.)
- What happens if I have sex during my pregnancy? (Your baby will be born with a full, lush beard.)
- How can I tell if Ive chosen the wrong pediatrician? (He/she cant pronounce stethoscope.)
- How do I make sure my baby loves me back? (Voodoo.)
From the moment theyre created until the day they steal our cars, our babies demand center stage in our lives. So join Alice and Eden as they tell you (and your lucky partner!) exactly what to think and feel and do, from morning sickness to babys first steps. They know everything!
This item will be delivered to you via USPS Trackable Media Mail or UPS Mail Innovations and will take from 2 days to 3 weeks from the time the item leaves our warehouse. *
Items must be returned in new or unused condition and contain all original materials included with the shipment. More details
FINAL SALE EXCLUSION: Items marked as FINAL SALE are not returnable unless the problem you experience is the result of our error.
* For your protection, all orders are screened for security purposes. If your order is selected for review, our Loss Prevention Team may contact you by phone or email. There may be a two business day delay to process your order.
** Most Oversize orders are delivered within 1-4 weeks. Some orders may take 6 weeks to be delivered.